big__things
11/10/2011 3:50:00 AM
So as the title says I absolutely cannot stand working. I'm soon to be 32 years old and have pretty much been working since I was 11 years old(paper route) with a few breaks over the years. Most recently I was unemployed for a lil over 2 years until a neighbor got tired of seeing me in the neighborhood during the day and gave me a job. This was back in April of this year and I am still employed with him at the moment. Prior to this job I was doing electrical construction. Now I am doing carpentry work, building, remodeling. At first I was thankful to be getting back to work even though I would have been happy if I never found another job ever again. Now I feel like I'm trapped in hell.
I'm working harder than I have ever worked before in my life making the same hourly wage I worked for when I was 24 minus benefits(no bennys at all). At first I didn't mind the job as I was actually doing something productive, now I can't stand it. I have to force myself out of bed in the morning and at night I sit in pain thinking about waking up the next morning. My boss is an absolute slave driver, treats and talks to me like I'm 12 years old. ABSOLUTE HELL. Friday can't come soon enough but I can't even look forward to Friday because now I'm expected to work Saturdays for straight time(I'm paid under the table and he doesn't pay time and a half for overtime). He doesn't even ask, just expects me to work. 2 weeks ago it was Friday morning and we were on our way to the job when he looked at me and said you're working tomorrow. I said it ain't happening as I had stuff to do and he started screaming at me basically saying that from that day forward to plan on working Saturdays with no exceptions.
I can't take it anymore. Not just this job but working in general. When I think of work I think of slavery. At 32 I still have NO CLUE what I want to do with my life. I don't have much of an education other than a high school diploma and some trade school. I have no interest in going back to school and piling on thousands of dollars in debt. I don't even wanna wake up anymore if this is how the next 40 years are gonna be.
I try to tough it out but I'm just getting to nerves end. I'm in debt and have been hammering away at paying off my last balance. I try to tell myself that once I'm free of this debt and save up a little emergency fund I can tell my boss to screw and be done with the job. I get out of my car everyday at the shop repeating to myself "end game.......end game" so I can muster up the strength to keep walking to the shop and not turn around and get back into my car and drive home.
I keep being told to look for another job if I don't like this one.........find something you would like to do. Told that "I HAVE to work" and there are no other options other than that. I don't want to be a SLAVE. I don't to be like everyone else. The Jones'. No thanks. I'd rather sleep on a beach someplace and eat at soup kitchens rather than be trapped in a job I hate, up to my eyeballs in debt with a 30 year mortgage, car payments, nagging wife, and crying kids(the american dream?). That's not me.
I dunno what to do. How to keep my head up and look forward. I'm probably not even making any sense to anybody and just ranting but I needed to get this out other than letting it build up inside. Arggggggggggggggggggg * * * do I do? No matter what job I take on I will be in the same spot after a month or 2 hating life.