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Big Bertha Thing balloon

Tony Lance

3/29/2011 5:22:00 PM

Big Bertha Thing balloon
Cosmic Ray Series
Possible Real World System Constructs
http://www.bigberthathing.com/ba...
7K Web Page
Astrophysics net ring access site
Newsgroup Reviews including sci.optics

The "Monstre" Balloon

From the book
The Ingoldsby Legends
by the Rev. Richard H. Barham
Published by Richard Edward King,
88 Curtain Road,
London E.C.
Inscribed;-
Barbara Death
From Aunt Emma
March 6th 1921
(C) Copyright Tony Lance 1999
Distribute complete and free of charge to comply.


Big Bertha Thing welfare

29th April 1999
Operations Manager,
The Benefits Agency,

Dear Sirs,

Further to your letter of 28th April 1999,
regarding a list of questions, on the possibility of my working at
all.

I will attempt to answer your questions, in order as listed in your
letter.

1.I am not working, I am just pottering arround on the internet.
I last registered for course work with the Open University in
1997. This would have involved 6 hours work per week.
I could only manage half-an-hour per day, so totally failed
to do the work or complete the course. Not even one homework
assignment was completed.
In August 1997, I bought a second hand computer for 150 pounds
sterling, and was given free access to the Open University
computer along local telephone lines at a call charge of
1p per minute.
Since that time, I managed to build up a body of correspondence,
within the limits of half-an-hour per day mental or physical work.
In January 1999, this correspondence was transfered by me to my
web site; www.bertha.ndirect.co.uk(since disabled.)
I have to pay 14 pounds and 9p per month for this site.

2.Nobody suggested it, it just happened.
3.My doctor does not know that I have a web site.
4.See answer 1 for description of my activities.
No job is being done, so no job description exists.

5.No employer exists or payments have been recieved.
6.I can think straight for half-an-hour per day.
The rest of the time is spent pottering arround.
I can do one side of A4 paper of mathematics
or computer work per day.

7.On any day free of a major shopping expedition,
I can do half-an-hour of original work and
about an hour of copy typing at non-typist speeds.

8.My principle interest is a 50 year scientific project,
which was started 30 years ago.
If I could spend 48 hours per week doing it I would.
However half-an-hour work and an hour pottering,
seems to be all I can manage and
at that not every day of the week.
Due to my condition, I asked Mrs. Pam S....,
a fellow Open University student to be the project archivist
for my work on the Open University computer.
She agreed and kept the archive of the correspondence
which is now on my web site. This is both an unusual
request and an unusually generous service
to a fellow student on incapacity benefit.

9.Zero income for as far as the eye can see.
10.Not applicable, zero wages or income.
11.August 1997 and is ongoing.

I trust that the above will put the internet feeding frenzy
of the newspaper hype into some perspective.

Tony Lance
tonylance@bigberthathing.com
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
From: Tony Lance <judemarie@bigberthathing.co.uk>
Newsgroups: swnet.sci.astro,sci.space.policy
Subject: Re: Big Bertha Thing redoubt
Date: Wed, 04 Apr 2007 18:37:41 +0100

Big Bertha Thing warlord

The last time I heard that an apology given under duress was valid,
was in the Monty Python' comedy sketch on the Spanish Inquisition.
Everytime anyone said Spanish Inquisition,
then 3 red cardinals turned up to organise it.

What do I have in comon with a Texas cattle baron?
He thinks that he is a bigger liar than I am. I think I am.

What does a drill sargeant have in comon with a chinese warlord?
He says that the sun will not rise tomorrow. His men believe it.

What is the difference between a Texas cattle baron and a
chinese warlord? The one knows he is lying. The other has never had
the problem.